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Closer, Clearer

Put what you need into words and practice asking for it in one relationship.

Grab your journal and a pen. Write by hand with guided prompts, one session at a time.

Open my journey

One session a day, or take it at your own pace. Your progress stays saved if you take a break.

About this journey

When a relationship leaves you unsure what to say or do, choose one pattern you can look at clearly. You'll look at what's been happening, work out what you need and practice asking for it or setting a limit. Use what you learn to choose your next step. That might mean getting closer, changing how you spend time together, or taking more distance. You don't have to make contact, share your writing, or continue a relationship. Try one session a day, including weekends, or take more time to notice and practice. You can pause and pick up where you left off.

What you'll build along the way

  • Describe a repeating pattern using what people say and do, while recognizing what you don't know.
  • Put one need into a clear request or a limit you can follow through on yourself.
  • Decide how you want to be involved in the relationship and when to reconsider.

Your path through the journey

  1. 1

    One Relationship, One Question

    Choose an everyday relationship question and name what you'd like to understand.

  2. 2

    Notice the Pattern

    Describe how an interaction unfolds and look for a point where you have a choice.

  3. 3

    Put What You Need Into Words

    Turn a broad need into a specific request or a change you could make.

  4. 4

    Choose a Limit You Can Keep

    Decide what you'll do about a repeated behavior, even when you don't know the reason for it.

  5. 5

    Choose Your Next Step

    Choose and prepare a step that fits what you've learned and what you're ready to do.

  6. 6

    See What Happened

    Use what happened to decide what you want to keep, change, or stop expecting.

  7. 7

    Decide What Works for You

    Write a decision about the relationship, including what you expect, your limit, and when to check how it's going.

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